By Patrick M. Powers – http://www.patrickmpowers.com
Well maybe it’s a bit exaggerated to say that selling is dead, but in today’s business, it’s about more than selling. It’s even about more than communicating – it’s about CONNECTING.
I used to look at successful people and be in awe of the way they connected with the most powerful of business people. Then I started to actually believe that I could learn what they do and I began to analyze everything they did. The handshake, the eye contact, the body posture, the way they dressed, the first few sentences, their overall behavior etc. etc. When I began to do the same thing I started to get the same results.
Here are some of the traits I’ve discovered about the best networkers.
Trait #1: They are great askers.
They ask some questions to engage the networking “partner” right away.
Trait #2: They are great listeners.
How about you? Are you interrupting people sentences or jumping in right after they finish a sentence? Are you thinking about what to say next or about something totally different? If you are thinking and not listening, you are not “there”, you are not present. You have to be mentally present for them to feel your presence.
What if the person is constantly talking about themselves ( and its boring )? Should you continue to listen? It’s a tough call. Normally I would excuse myself and move on to someone else because chances are they are not really good with people. See, if you are only interested in yourself then nobody will be interested in you.
BUT I have been positively surprised a couple of times with people that talk about themselves a lot. If in doubt, continue to listen and find out their position and influence. If it’s a big kahuna somewhere, they obviously have influence and know people. Continue to listen with interest even though it bores the living daylights out of you.
Is it boring sometimes? YES. Does it PAY? YESSS.
Don’t make the mistake to think about something totally different. You don’t want to be caught not knowing what they just talked about. Trust me I’ve been there and done that. It’s pretty embarrassing to say the least.
Remember business is about serving. It’s not about having your ego needs met.
If you have the discipline to forget about yourself and serve others you will be very successful. Listening is part of being a great servant.
Trait #3. They are great handshakers.
I’ve met some very nice people with some terrible handshakes.
And although I wanted to forget about their terrible handshake and focus on all the positive things about them, I must admit that it was pretty hard.
How do you really know if your handshake is good or bad?
Step 1: Start being very conscious when you shake someone’s hand.
Step 2: Be humble enough to do “handshake survey”. Ask a handful of friends
(no pun intended ) their opinion of your handshake and how you can improve it. While you are at it, ask how you make them feel when you meet them and shake their hand. Ask how do you make them feel when they call you? How is your energy especially in the first few seconds?
If your energy is dead in the first sentence, the deal will be dead. They HAVE to feel elevated after talking to you. Take it upon yourself to leave everybody in a better state than you found them. What do I mean by that? Make them happier, make them feel important, more confident, acknowledge something about them, give them a small gift.
If you make people feel better about themselves they will want to come back for more. And now I’m getting ahead of myself because I’m already talking about:
Trait #4: They leave people in a better state than they found them.
This is a big one. This is really what sets the winners apart. You will be considered a true leader if you do this.
There you have it. These are some of the most important skill and traits to learn if you want to become a super business networker.
I just want to leave you with one more thing: Networking is a learnable skill. You CAN become the greatest networker in the world. Just constantly improve, hang around top networkers and you will be there one day.
Have a brilliant day – Patrick Powers
Tue, Aug 4, 2009
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